Vix Knowler

Please be patient with me.

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I’m not really sure where to start or even whether I should start at all.

But the thing is, I have never been ashamed to hide my battles with anxiety and depression, or my traumas and struggles that I have faced and beat, so I don’t want to shut off now – because what if I could help someone by being as open and as honest as I can.

For a long while now I have complained of worsening migraines that leave me with a weakness down my left side. I have reduced sensation in my left hand and left leg and I sometimes feel that I’m listing to one side as I walk. Initially I felt this weakness at the onset of a migraine but for a long time now I have had this weakness consistently without a migraine also.

As some of you know – I went to see a neurologist on Thursday and although I still need an MRI scan to rule out structural damage – they are pretty certain I have whats called Functional Neurological Disorder.

Even as a Nurse I have never come across this disorder and it actually seems very misunderstood and many clinicians will frequently misdiagnose.

Basically it involves the software of the brain.

The hardware – the actual structure of the brain is fine – but the communication between neurons are disrupted or impaired. For example – there is no cause for my arm to feel numb – its just the signals telling my brain that I have sensation are impaired and therefore do not get through.

To be perfectly honest…I am in a whirlwind of emotions at the moment and I’m not sure exactly how I feel. One moment I cant stop crying, then I feel more determined then ever. Then I feel that I don’t have the energy to continue fighting and just want to rest and take time out. This then changes to a tangible love I have for myself and my family to keep going – no matter what.

Because there is not so much known about the causes of FND its hard to put in a contingency to prevent it from worsening.

Stress however plays a big role as a risk factor so this is something I will have to focus on. Which seems ironic as a Solution Focused Hypnotherapist who helps others reduce the stress in their life.

This has always been a problem for me ..I have never been able to prioritise myself. I love to be kind, caring and compassionate and I always feel the need to put others before me. Maybe almost 30 years in the caring profession as a Nurse has conditioned me to be like this, to disregard my needs in favour of others. But now as I have a bright torch light being shone at me and the tunnel of potential worsening symptoms ahead – I know that I cant keep putting others in front of me. My body is literally screaming at me to rest. Its time I put more effort into ME – because I do deserve it.

Its about time I sit in the sun, reading when there is a pile of washing to do and housework to be done.

Life is too short to worry about all the things you didn’t get done.

So a small request, please bear with me as I process this information and even though I may be a bit quiet at times, please be reassured that my compassion and kindness to you, my clients will never waver and when you are in the therapy room with me – you will have my full attention and commitment.  Outside of my working hours, however, I will be focusing on rest, recovery and joy. Things that are good for my soul.

“Project Me” begins –  as it should for you too. We deserve our own love, time and commitment to create, absorb and live a life full of happiness, purpose and adoration.

Lets show ourselves how we can be our own number 1 no matter how hard it gets – believe in you and create that life you desire and deserve.

Much love

Vix

 

The choices we make?

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Just imagine this …. It’s a beautiful day, the sun is shining and you feel the warmth on your head and shoulders…. you are walking along a country path when you come to a meadow … Walking through the meadow is a necessity in getting to your destination but it seems such hard work to walk through …. the grass is chest high and you don’t have a clue which way to go … it seems uncertain. You are already carrying a heavy load on your back and you long for an easy path.
Suddenly you notice …. a small area of grass that has been trodden down by others before you. This trodden down path shows you a clear view of where it will take you.
Now faced with the decision, remembering you are carrying a heavy load on your back … do you choose …..
…..the harder more uncertain route through the chest high grass
…..or do you opt for a path that appears to be easy and obvious?
I obviously don’t know what you answered … but I do believe most of us … already ladened down with a heavy load, would choose the path that had a clear view of its destination and an easier traverse !!
It’s seems the most energy efficient obvious route right?
And our brain agrees – when we want to change something in our lives …. our brain is faced with the decision of taking an uncertain, unfamiliar challenging route or to take the easy familiar well worn route.
It’s more energy effective to take the easy route every time and this is why we often struggle to attempt change. Our brain loves certainty and familiarity so would prefer to take the well trodden path every time rather than contemplate the long grass where the destination is not known.
But when we consciously are aware of our choices and can acknowledge that maybe the easy path no longer takes us to where we want to be … we can start one step at a time moving out into that chest high grass and slowly but surely we can make a new path … a new positive neural pathway in our brain that moves us along in a direction of what we truly want in our life.
It’s not the easiest choice but as you recognise that the old path isn’t what you want anymore you start to feel excited to make a new path…. jumping through the long grass noticing the wild flowers intertwined and the beauty of anticipation and freshness…
Over time by keep putting one foot in front of the other … you will make a new path that becomes your easy route and the old will begin to grow and you won’t even know it was there.
Making changes is not easy but with the ability to keep walking on that new path … you will create new healthier and positive neural pathways in your brain that will become your go to… your quick fire familiar and energy efficient easy route that will help to create the life you desire and you deserve.
What are you waiting for …lets Go !!
Much Love
Vix

Water is life

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Wow … I am literally only just finding out about this now. !!!!!

Dehydration or lowered water intake actually has a direct association with anxiety and depression.

I feel a bit silly as a nurse of 25 years, to be confessing to this !!!

I have always understood the importance of being adequately hydrated for a general wellness, but never actually looked into the effect it has on psychological health.

Of course I know it supports brain health, after all, our brain is 75% water but I never knew the nitty gritty behind how reduced hydration can increase anxiety and depression.

Multiple studies have been conducted that link dehydration with increased anxiety, low mood and reduced cognitive performance.
Dehydration impedes energy production in the brain which creates mental fatigue. Even as little as a 1.5% decrease in our body’s water volume can have a negative effect on our cognitive functioning… such as attention, focus, energy levels and mood.
Reduced water intake can also change how we respond to stress. It has been stated that even 500ml deficit in your required daily intake of water is said to increase the level of the stress hormone cortisol in your body. When you’re stressed, your adrenal glands produce extra cortisol and under chronic stress, your adrenal glands can become exhausted, and result in lower electrolyte levels. Lower level of electrolytes can impair essential bodily functions, causing dehydration which then causes more strain on your body resulting in more cortisol to be produced.  You are then faced with a vicious cycle of dehydration causing stress and stress causing dehydration.
Dehydration also impedes serotonin production -Serotonin is created from the amino acid tryptophan – but sufficient water is essential for tryptophan to be transported across the blood brain barrier….. so if there is not enough water to transport the tryptophan there will be less serotonin conversion, so our serotonin levels will be reduced.

 In Kissing The Black Dog, Wayne Ellis writes:

Dehydration also depletes other essential amino acids contributing to feelings of dejection, inadequacy, anxiety, irritability.

Lower water intake can also cause cells to shrink which impairs the essential transportation of oxygen, amino acids and minerals and nutrients.

Well I am now going to put it out there …

I am someone that really struggles to drink adequate amounts of water each day AND I have suffered with anxiety most of my life !! Who would have thought !!!

Imagine only just finding out now at 45 years of age,  that years of inadequate hydration will have increased my experiences of anxiety. Well no more. My intention this year is to ensure everyday I drink at least 2-2.5 litres of water, to keep not only my physical body healthy but more importantly the health of my brain.

I cant wait to see how much better I will feel with the correct and most beneficial amount of water flowing around my body.

A quick edit too.. water is also said to have calming effects on your body when consumed… so really this is always gonna be a win win scenario. Water is free…water is calming and water is going to allow you to reduce your stress hormones, help you to think more clearly and  increase your serotonin.

Its never too late to start enhancing your life for a brighter future.

Lets raise a glass for the wonderful magnificent H20 –

Water is indeed Life… !!

Enjoy

Much love

Vix

 

 

The Impossible became possible.

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On 16th December 9 years ago… I received a phone call from my mum. A phone call that I will never forget.

That day Dad had a big job in Salisbury … an Italian restaurant to fit out and Mum at the last moment decided to go with Dad to keep him company on the drive from their home in Kent to Salisbury.

It started as a normal day but life changed dramatically in the space of 10 minutes.

Dad was cutting wood with a jigsaw when he felt a little strange… it was like the vibrations of the jigsaw was still there even after he had stopped using it.

Mum thought maybe he was having a hypo because he is a diabetic and was doing a lot of physical arduous work.

Fortunately another workman who Dad did not know – requested the FAST assessment- to check for stroke.

Face symmetry

Arms raise

Speech impaired

Time ring 999

Dad could not raise his left arm. So a very speedy 999 call that the lifesaving workman recognised was needed got him to Salisbury hospital … in a CT scanner and on a ward within an hour.

The phone call from Mum sounded like how any mother would deliver devastating news-she tried to dampen down the severity of the situation and told me Dad had suffered a mini stroke.

In my nurses head I was thinking Transient ischaemic attack (TIA) something that would resolve over a few days.

But when I asked to speak with the nurse she had a duty of care to deliver the truth.

Dad had suffered a severe Haemorrhagic stroke.

I knew from working with stroke patients that Haemorrhagic strokes can be fatal, life threatening and definitely not a rapid resolution back to their previous state.

My immediate thought as I put the phone down to Mum was that I needed to get there to both of them … but the weather was bad, the night was drawing in… I had a 4 year old and an 8month and a husband who was away. I also was in shock and needed to think sensibly for the safety of my kids. So I decided to make the journey early the next day.

On my arrival to the hospital, I realised I had not allowed myself to conjure up any preconceived visions of how Dad may look.

But I believe the reality was worse than anything I could have imagined.

My Dad a strong man, our rock, so full of life was laying in a hospital gown lifeless, unable to move even a millimetre of his left side. He was unable to speak, unable to eat, unable to smile.

It was the first time I ever remember my Dad looking scared, scared of something he had no control over.

I spoke to the Doctor and he gave me a very truthful opinion on how my dad would fare on recovery.

He explained that the stroke my Dad had suffered was very severe but in the next sentence he gave me hope, he said “I have seen people suffer a much less severe stroke than your dad and never make improvements but I have also seen people who have suffered strokes as severe as your Dad walk on out of here”

What he said made me believe that there was hope for my Dad and I knew he would give it everything he had to work at getting better.

And that’s exactly what he did… over the space of 3 months whilst in hospital Dad had to relearn everything he had previously taken for granted.

How to swallow, how to maintain a sitting balance, how to keep his head up, how to move fingers, and how to hold things without the use of his left side.

All of these aspects of his new life required so much strength and determination but he knew he would make the change, he knew that there was no question as to how much he would persist in his attempts to change. He believed in himself, he believed in the love of his family to help him through it.

He was sad.. yes….

He was in shock … yes

At times he felt too tired to keep going.

At times he felt absolutely defeated.

He felt like he wanted the old him back.

But what he never did was give up.

He maintained resilient even when he had only an ounce of energy left.

Over time…. bit by bit…. Millimetre by millimetre the persistent attempts that he made moved him closer to his goal of getting to a point where he was safe to go home.

My Dads life will never go back to how it was pre stroke… he still has limited movements down his left side but he has learnt to adapt and adjust and the awesome twosome which is of course him and my mum have created a routine of military precision which totally works for them.

So when we all think that we can’t change our habits or our thoughts or our behaviours- please remember my Dad.

Our brains are so powerful and they can retrain and rewire in ways that may seem impossible…. But nothing is impossible… if we persist, repetitively perform and want to change we can.

Also with a little bit of Hope added into the mix we can truly be unstoppable.

Believe in yourself… take small steps and look forward…. always look forward.

Learn to accept and be thankful of the life you have and remember it’s always your choice to push a little harder if you want that goal ahead.

Change may feel scary at first but if the change is right for you … you will achieve it … just keep wanting, going and never give up trying.

Much love

  • Vix

Forgiveness

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According to an old diary …it’s coming up to almost 21 years since I started to believe that I was truly deserving of a good life.

I had been in a very toxic relationship, and I could never really see this relationship for what it was…love is blind don’t they say? I seemed to just keep giving and I felt bit by bit that I was dissolving into dust…soon to be nothing more than a shell or a shadow of my previous self.

My diary entry back then… October 22nd 2001

Ok, here we go ..catch up of last few weeks after returning home from Cairns Australia

One day, I lay awake, realising that not only was I able to smell the coffee, but my whole entire head was completely immersed in the stuff.

This one morning, I lay next to the person I would have given the whole world to, the stars, the moon, the stars…these could have been his – the amount of love I had for this guy was so substantial it literally made me ache.  Ache seems ineffective in what I felt. I felt I would burst. I felt I was being eaten slowly inside out. I believed at first this was the feeling of love…But oh jeez how wrong I was.

The knots in my stomach, the confusion in my head, the ache in my heart, were all down to betrayal, hurt and mistrust. I looked at him asleep – knowing in my own heart that there was no way on this earth that he truly loves me. Oh no I was just this young girl that he was able to mold into what he wanted. Someone that would give him every part of their soul and not question it.

This girl was of course me – not the strongest of people. I may even be described as soft. But now the only thing I can describe myself as is “FOOL”

How could my love for him have blinded me to all his nonobvious verbal abuse – constantly making me doubt myself, my own decisions in the end making me feel that I was a destroyed worthless piece of poop.

Depressed!!! I was past that. I was in this deep dark world that no matter how hard I tried, I could not see even the littlest glimpse of light. I knew this wasn’t me and indeed I would have drowned if Id stayed there any longer.

Suddenly something in the depths of despair made me realise for a second, that I wasn’t this young little impressionable girl anymore. I was indeed a grown up and I had the strength to stick up for myself and I could make decisions I could be proud of.

Booking that plane ticket home to rainy happy cold England has been the best decision I have ever made.

This guy’s sexy l’il smile was his only way of hiding the numerous cheats he’d conquered, the bad decisions he had made and his best lie of all “I love you Vic”

I don’t know about anyone else in this world… but for me – if he is saying he loves me ..I would hate to be his enemy!!!

At first my heart took a bit of a bashing and as they say ” All this hurt and so much pain, takes a while to regain, what is lost inside”

But I actually wake up every morning with a smile on my face – singing Hosannah as I know that I have a wonderful future ahead of me.

I AM SOMETHING

I AM SOMEONE

Away from him I finally realise it!!!

Diary extract finished   ————————————————————————–

 

So, looking back on that I actually feel so much gratitude to this guy.

He was part of the reason I am who I am now.

I don’t have regrets and I no longer feel that he was totally to blame.

I was not able to love myself at this time and to be fair to him this is something he always pointed out, “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself”

From the start I couldn’t believe why he would like me…and I would think everyone looking at us would think the same and I guess the desperation for me to believe this in my mind …meant slowly giving away ME. I tried to be everything he wanted and do anything he wanted…but maybe all he truly wanted was Me …Me without the desperation to please, me without the need to keep him close and me who didn’t have to stay up frantic every night worrying where he was. In all this desperation to prove that I was worthy of his love. I was pushing him away. Like they say .. if you hold sand in a slightly curved hand, you can hold the sand for as long as you want but if you close your hand tight …the sand trickles through your fingers. (I will never know the answer to this …but I can see now that my feelings about myself could have instigated many of his actions. I realise now that I wasn’t just unhappy with him…but I was mostly unhappy within ME and maybe he knew this.

I would say it’s been a very long journey to get where I am today, but I feel this guy was actually my saviour – he instigated this pinnacle of change within me. A change that maybe I need to Thank him for.

I was not supposed to lead an unhappy life and the 7 years of our relationship gave me the foundation to know I am worthy, and I deserve to be happy.  In the midst of this deep black hole, I had the strength to crawl out on my hands and knees and this is something I would not have known, without him. This relationship gave me the visual evidence of my strength, my resilience and the love for myself to battle through.

If I had not endured these struggles, I would never have learnt to grow myself.  I would not have appreciated my kind, loving husband for everything he stands for and is and I would never have had such a beautiful meaningful life that means the world to me.

The beauty in writing this too has shown me that not only do I forgive him, but I forgive myself too. I also thank myself for holding on when at times I felt far too broken.

Sometimes when you feel like life is just too much…please hold on because believe me greater things are on the other side….  You weren’t meant to live that life ….

Much Love

Vix

Xxxx

 

 

 

Change begins as we step out of our comfort zone.

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Recently I took such a massive leap of faith.

I decided to leave my stable, secure and comfortable job as a Nurse ( which I had done for the past 25 years) and jump with both feet into the world of self employment.

For the last 25 years I had felt so comfortable snuggled up in my comfort zone of SECURITY that I felt no desire to move.

Why would I ? I had a secure wage, a  secure job and a secure future with pension and job guaranteed until retirement….

 

I considered myself to be very fortunate…But ….my health threw me a curveball and made me realise that my lifestyle was not sustainable…trying to do both Nursing and Hypnotherapy was causing ill effects…my body was asking me politely to make a change.

But I couldn’t listen to my body effectively at first because since childhood I have craved SECURITY.

I had an amazing childhood with both loving parents and 2 sisters who were much older than me but still had my back. We lived in the same house that I was bought home to as a newborn and the people in the road were like family. I couldn’t have asked for more.

But …..when I was 15 years old …about to start my GCSEs our house became repossessed. My Dad had been owed a lot of money from a large company that had gone into liquidation so the money he was owed in terms of his small business was huge and he had to declare himself bankrupt.

We lost OUR house and lost our SECURITY.

Everything seemed so uncertain….for the first time in my life I had been thrown into the unknown …where will we live?…can we afford to rent even?….the future was a conspiracy of what ifs and maybes!!

My heart ached as my Dad had to ask us children for our savings. To see how it affected my Dad in terms of pride was debilitating and I guess subconsciously my mind held on to these experiences.

But my Dad and Mum have always been fighters and they refused to sit in the corner and shout “why me”…they made changes and adapted and worked hard to build themselves and the business up again ..a business may I add which is still going now over 30 years later.

So this craving for SECURITY occurred from this point I believe. I now knew that you could work so hard for something yet it could easily be ripped away from under your feet at any given time. So I have grown as an adult needing to feel safe, comfortable and secure….

But what kind of life is that ???

I got to the point in recent months when my body was no longer asking me politely to change but had somehow sourced a megaphone and was on a repeating loop of  “Something has to change”

But I was scared…..many sleepless nights and the fear of losing my security held me back until it seemed somehow I tuned into my thoughts and feelings and eventually my intuition started to shout  louder than the fear.

“You know….you could actually do this “!!!!

” Take that first step “!!

“The time is right”!!!

 

…and do you know what ??…. it was …everything about the transition to move from the secure, known job of Nursing to the unknown, unsecure job of a self employed hypnotherapist was perfect.

A gentle knowing inside that it IS going to be ok…Ive got this!!!  carried me through the fear zone !!!

By moving out of our comfort zones, despite needing to move through the fear zone we start to learn and grow and our perspective not only changes on our life but in ourselves too.

Through the progression of learning how we can overcome challenges and deal with mistakes, we gain confidence, which helps our self esteem and helps us to believe we can set new aspiring goals and participate in wonderful opportunities.

The world becomes our oyster ….. and our mind starts to believe ….”if I can do that, then I can achieve anything” !!! If we all stay in our comfort zones we would never know truly how much we can achieve.

So gorgeous people dip that toe outside that comfort zone and just see how amazing and awesome your life can be when we face our fears head on. x

Much Love

Vix

 

 

 

 

 

Gratitude

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Hi Everyone, hope you are well.

I only have 3 weeks left in my nursing job and its starting to hit me that it really is happening now!!!

Yesterday during my break I really reflected on all the things I am going to miss. One of the aspects I am going to miss most is the frequency of seeing people from the older generation.

People from the older generation (to me that is) brighten up my day. They love to chat as much as me and sometimes I may be the only one they have spoken to all week, so I feel its important to give them this time.  I like to ask them about things from their past and more often than not you see their eyes twinkle and a smile creep up on their face. Whatever I ask them, they are always so  forthcoming with their answers. Not once has anyone said …”its none of your business or you are very nosey”… they seem happy and grateful for the time to talk.

The older generation are a wonderful source of worldly wisdom….they always know the best thing to get a stain out, they always have a great analogy that helps you to understand the world better, they are resilient….they give you that inspiration that you can get through anything. They have so many life experiences that you can trust them wholeheartedly in their advice. I totally look up to these wonderfully wise people and feel grateful that I get to see so many on a daily basis.

As well as all their wisdom …its GRATITUDE  that I see shining out of them.

Obviously due to their age they have lost many loved ones but you can see how grateful and thankful they are for their friends and family that they do have. They focus on what is here and now and make the most of what they have. It is rarely apparent that they dwell on the past….they talk about the present or the future…. how they are going to their daughters for dinner on Sunday or that they are enjoying all the spring flowers popping up and how thankful they are for their Zimmer frame or walking stick. It seems that they are grateful for all the small aspects of their life and this is brilliant ….do you know why?

There is scientific proof that gratitude has so many benefits for psychological, social and emotional well being and the best thing…..is that it is available to everyone. Everyone has the ability to be grateful for something.

Portraying gratitude helps us to make new positive neural pathways that enhances serotonin and dopamine production, helps to regulate cortisol production ( stress hormone) and by repetitive practice we can strengthen the positive pathways so we find it easier to focus on the positive aspects of our life more frequently and therefore minimises negative habits, thinking and emotions.

Writing a gratitude journal everyday or by being mindful of what we have surrounding us in our day to day lives helps to increase and improve:

Happiness

Positivity

Compassion

Self Confidence

Resilience

Motivation

Coping Skills

Self Esteem

Sleep patterns.

For only 20 minutes of your day the positive effects are huge….why don’t you give it a go today!!!

And remember not to fear getting old as we can be truly grateful for our lives so far and what we have ahead of us xxx

All the best

Much love Vix

 

 

 

 

Negatively forecasting the future !!!

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Negatively forecasting the future was probably one of my greatest talents ….up until a few years ago.

You could say I was an A* student in this field …the best I could be …. and not because I wanted to be the best at it but it just seemed to come so naturally to me…… it was my  automatic response to any situation.

I could be in an incredibly harmonious situation….like laying on a beach in the sun, drinking a Porn-star Martini with people I love and I would STILL generate images of negative “what ifs”  and once I let one negative thought in, it  would progress to a “what if avalanche”  flooding my every brain space.

I used to miss out on so much because all the time I was worrying about what could happen, I  missed the good bits.

I remember whilst travelling Australia I got the opportunity to board a ship in a croc infested river. The tour guide had plenty of meat on board and it was probably an event I was never ever going to do again once returning home to the UK. It was an opportunity that not many people will get…a full on Aussie experience!!!!… ….. But as I sat there ….I started to think about my contingency plans……my escape routes…..I remember my thoughts clearly, like they were yesterday ….my first thought …what if we run out of petrol? followed by ….what if the driver has a heart attack…..what if the crocs get the taste of meat and want more fresh meat ( aka us) ……by the time I had tried to make plans for every eventuality in my head …the boat trip was over and I was back on the river bank ( away from the crocs)….with my boyfriend at the time beaming and saying  “Whoa that was amazing” !!! But I couldn’t really answer ….I had not been there…..not where he was …soaking up the experience …No,  I was away in my brain, so called keeping myself safe !!!

Negative thinking and negatively forecasting the future is something that we were designed to do …its a survival mechanism….it is natural to do this, as our ancestors did for so many years. Without negative thinking and worst case scenarios we would not be here today.

The problem with today however we do not get those extreme threats that are short lived we get the small micro-doses of stress that build up and up and essentially fill up our stress buckets and these in fact are more debilitating than those short lived extreme ones that they managed in caveman times.

When our stress buckets are full…we are more likely to be fearful…apprehensive…vigilant and obsessive…and soon everything around us becomes a threat to our survival and we cannot engage with out intellectual brain to help us calm and think rationally and logically.

This is clearly what was a frequent occurrence in my life until…… I started to understand how the brain works and how its natural to think negatively in terms of a life threatening events but on a day to day basis….constantly thinking negatively just helps us to fill up our already full stress bucket, which then in turn encourages us to remain in that negative mindset, exacerbating fear and anxiety.

There is so much to say about being in the present, after all like its name sake its a gift !!! When living in the present we don’t dwell on the past and we don’t negatively think about the future…we live in the moment and if problems arise we all have the intellectual capacity to work out a solution required in that moment. Dwelling on the past doesn’t change what’s happened and negatively forecasting the future doesn’t ensure certainty … these unhelpful thought patterns only makes us worry more and this fills up our stress bucket.. increasing our negativity and anxiety.

So what have I learnt in recent years and how has it helped me?

To not so much resist negative thoughts, after all, if we tell ourselves not to think of a purple monkey …we already have .!!!! ..its more about accepting that you may feel concerned about a situation or event and say to yourself ….”This is completely natural, my survival mechanism is just trying to keep me safe ” but …its ok I am in control and I can solve any situation that arises”

Its also looking at the situation objectively ….what happens if it goes terribly wrong ??? but more importantly “what if it goes amazingly right ??

Our brains do not know the difference between imagination or reality so by negatively forecasting  an event in the future, your brain will believe that it has happened in real time, even though its just a thought and if your stress response has been initiated from the negative forecasting…the next time a similar event occurs the same stress response will occur causing uncomfortable physical feelings of stress.

For instance today I had to attend the hospital for investigations….attending a hospital for me as a nurse of 25 years is not a concerning event but when its me on the other side in the hospital gown its hard not to feel slightly apprehensive. Feeling apprehensive is totally natural and its ok to accept this fact. What is not helpful however is what potentially could follow the apprehension in regard to thoughts about a negative future. What is there is something terribly wrong with me? What if I can never work again? What if I never see my kids grow up? What if I cant afford the mortgage? All these types of thoughts are not helpful and will definitely not change any of the outcomes other than increasing our anxiety. So what I did last night was imagined all the things I wanted to happened today at the hospital.

Whilst listening to relaxation music, I imagined that I drove to the hospital in plenty of time, car parking space was available, quick appointment and then home in time to take the kids out with their friends. I imagined the sun was shining and I was calm and relaxed throughout.

This morning in reality I woke up feeling calm…I drove to the hospital in plenty of time, found a perfect car parking space, I was taken into the appointment early within a minute of me getting there, the test was performed and I returned home in the sunshine, listening to my music on the drive home looking forward to seeing the kids and our friends.

I’m not going to pretend everything we imagine will come true but isn’t this option so much more exhilarating? If I had thought about all the worse case scenario options, I would have woken feeling stressed and anxious all because of these inaccurate fearful scenarios that were only a figment of my imagination.

So lets change it up….look at how you want the event to pan out and imagine that !!!

Anticipate excitement and happiness!!!

Look at the positive possibilities and see how this changes your mindset.

What if it goes well….? should always follow a what if it goes wrong?

We have the power to control our thoughts and to imagine what could happen in a positive way which will strengthen those positive pathways that reinforce our intellectual brain so we can most definitely think with logic and rationality rather than negativity and emotionality.

So lovely people pull on your positive pants and imagine your best life yet

Much love

Vix x xx

 

 

Welcome to my new website

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